It's something like 652 days since the suspension started. No news this week... yet. Always hopeful, which is the optimistic nature in me, yet discouragement can settle in very quickly at times.
Imagine dropping off your child at an orphanage again after earning their trust for over 9 weeks? Imagine leaving your children when they call your name the minute they don't see you or randomly tells you "I love you mommy". Imagine forsaking your child who calls your name in the middle of the night and reaches over to make sure you're still there? Imagine hearing them cry "mommy" "mommy" and having to walk away and not knowing when you will see them again. I've tried blocking these imagines out of my minds. But how long can we go on like this? We have children here and children in Canada. It's not a decision of who is most important.
We have no time-frame given to us now. It could be tomorrow, it could be another month. It has to be sometime as many high level promises have been made. But honestly, the well is dry - my DH is financially trying to run two households, the one in Africa being the more expensive one - by far. He would do anything for any of our children, I know that for certain. (ie to rent an apartment in the city here costs $3k/month and they usually want several months in advance).
President Kabila's decision rests solely on him. Only GOD can change his heart and make this an urgent matter. Had a serious prayer meeting with the girls tonight. They probably thought I went crazy. LOL. Crying out to God for mercy - leaving the girls would be excruciating for me but most harmful for them. How do parents make decisions like this?
But for tonight, I will snuggle in beside them and feel a hand come reach over to mine and I will beg God again and again for His mercies for movement, wisdom, and our breaking hearts.
Our only hope is in our gracious God who knows our situation better than anyone. He is a compassionate God who does not willingly bring affliction or grief to anyone. Lam. 3:33. But we do feel the lamentation in our situation. Many unanswered questions rise up in our minds.
ReplyDeleteWe look at the heroes of faith in Hebrews 11, and we ponder. We look at faith that was being tested. We look at Jesus who knew what was in people’s minds and had compassion on all who called on Him in their need. We consider James 1:5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” And wisdom we need! And so we ask. We examine Jesus words in Matthew 7 “7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
9 “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”
We look to Jesus Who casts out devils – He can do the same today for us. We hear Jesus’ words to Pilate, ““You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above.” And we ponder. The powers held in sway in Congo included.
We look at the cross and ponder why the Son of God was despised and rejected, mocked and scorned. Why He suffered abuse that even His Father in heaven turned His face away.
All this must relate to our situation in some way. And we wish we had good answers, but we don’t.
We consider God’s timing. Charles Darwin turned his back on God when his daughter died and God did not prevent it.
We consider God’s ways as in Isaiah 55 8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,” declares the LORD. 9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
And so we find ourselves, as finite and limited creatures, trying to figure out the mind of an infinite Creator God. 1 Corinthians 2 11 For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God. 16 for,
“Who has known the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?”
And still our Savior invites us in Matthew 11, “28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
We do not have answers, but we do have love for you all.
Grams & Gramps
Wow, I cannot imagine what you guys are going through and how hard it must be. Chantal and I continue to pray for you: for strength and endurance, for financial provision, and that the suspension will be lifted soon and you can return home.
ReplyDeleteEach morning at my work at HFL we have a prayer time; I would love to be able to bring your situation up so we can pray more for you (of course keeping everything anonymous...names, location, etc). I know you have to be careful with how much you communicate though...so let me know either way if this is ok or not.
-Jeremy
Just many tears and prayers for you and family.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Connie
Oh Jackie I'm just weeping reading this I'm praying something will happen this week!! Sending tons of love to all of you.
ReplyDelete